radio show.

oh my godoh my godoh my godoh my godoh my godoh my godoh my godoh my godoh my godoh my godoh my godoh my godoh my godoh my godoh my godoh my godoh my godoh my godoh my godoh my godoh my godoh my godoh my godoh my godoh my godoh my godoh my godoh my god.


ngajump ang aking stomach. its like... two hours from now.

8pm.mix.viewfinder. HELP!!!

oh my god
oh my god
oh my god
oh my god
oh my god
oh my god
oh my god
oh my god
oh my god
oh my god
oh my god
oh my god
oh my god


first time ko. sorry. hahahahaha.

i raise my brow at you.

2 years.

its been two years or more since i have been part of this group they call Ateneo Debate Society.
and because i have learned to love almost everything this club offers me, it earns a blog. :))

but this thing is not about the club. its about the people who ruin the club for me or for other people who simply care.

on my second year, people came in. they, at first, showed interest and were like sheep. but as time passed by, the seniors were starting to be more friendly. and they abused it. they were taught things over and over just to realize, after very session, that no matter how many times you teach, they wont learn simply because they dont want to learn. and yet, i still dont get why they are there.

but because they are staying, we still had little hope. and that little hope kept us patient even though these people who we are teaching are verbally and physically not treating us right considering the year level and closeness gaps.

and now it came to threats and hatred. how lovely did things turn out to be. (sarcasm) they are mad because of no clear reason. you try to reach out and talk to them, but they wouldnt even look at you. and now demands for apology are being presented through other connections. i wonder why we cant personally talk about this.

but, unlike other people, i do not apologize to people for things i did not even do wrong. in fact, i dont even know what they wanted an apology for. it is because apologies are very precious and are not supposed to be said unless it is meant.

and unlike other people, i simply do not get threatened by people quitting, or even by flying shoes... it is because i know i didnt do anything that might cause them to throw me shoes. which means, they have their own psycho problems.


so, how dare them. how dare them get mad. how dare them choose to tattletale and not confront us immediately. how dare them demand for an apology for something that isn't even clear. how dare them use other people just to tell us that something is wrong. how dare them.

and to think we thought they were actually good people.

note: refers to one person.:)

IT TIME. weee.

well, its it time and i cant surf the usual sites that i go to.. soo.. im here. hahaha.

ai, oo. si sir simpao kanina, kumanta ng daughtry song. hahaha.

un lang. weee.

okay. that was so random...

pagpaparaya.

a few weeks back, i always wished it would rain in the morning. not because i wanted to experience the freshness of the air when the rain pours, or because i wanted to feel the raindrops fall on my palm and be happy, but just because gusto kong magjacket. it was very selfish. i know.

but then, after that week, i realized that it shouldn't happen kasi kawawa ung mga taong pumipila for NFA rice. so i just faced the fact that it should never rain when the sun is supposed to rise.

PERO... ang litsugas na wrong timing na igat na grrr. it friggin rained.
and look what i got, baha na hanggang tuhod.

what pisses me off more is that i came to school too damn early. and sinabi nung guard na may klase kahit na ang tubig sa labas ng gate 7 ay parang sapa, MAY PASOK. MAY FRIGGIN PASOK.


pagkatapos, pagpasok na pagpasok ko sa classroom, dumating ung guard. at sinabi niyang walang pasok. yes. MY LIFE LOVES ME VERY, VERY MUCH.

and now, i am in front of this computer with my uniform still on. (and of course, with the friggin jacket.)

PERFECT. JUST PERFECT.

tapos, bwct din na celtics, natalo. buxet.
the skies preempted na mananalo ang lakers. see? even the skies hate the lakers so much.

pero... kailangang magparaya. magparaya sa panahon. magparaya sa halos lahat ng bagay.
at malay natin, balang araw, ang panahon ang magpaparaya para sa akin.

i may be mad, but im loving it.

you're on my mind constantly. but i can't help it. its like i can't face a day without imagining you here by my side, and recalling those perfect moments we shared.

but i know they would not last.
moments like those, they never last.

and now that you're gone, i reminisce those little moments. i go wild deep inside whenever i sense even a tinge of you, even on other people. my heart sings whenever i hear your name. i hold on to anything that reminds me of you. i may be mad, but im loving it.

and every day of my life, i am looking forward to see you, to hold you, to feel you. and you know, you should always know, that i will do everything, everything i could, to be with you and to make you happy.

i need you.i know its unavoidable but you left. but you left me just when i needed you most.

but of course, i have to move on. we shouldn't be brooding about past moments, we have to make new memories. and i know that seeing you again is a new thing to think about.

but either way, thinking of you in the past and looking forward to the future makes me restless. i just need you by me, before i go crazy.

i think you get me.

:)

its not this day. its not how they bug me. its not the rain. its just me.

there are times when you feel like the people around you tend to.... uhhh... "feel"(?) that they planned to sabotage your day one little step at a time. its like... suicidal.

wait. i always feel suicidal. whats wrong with me?

hmm.

there will be no white flag above my door..
im in love, and always will be.

yes. its true. i will always be in love. we all will.

and as for the suicidal problem, well..
being suicidal is a part of who i am. and if i take it away, i wouldnt be.. me.