makes me wonder why i cant say it straight.:))

It has days since I started to take this seriously.

I always hate it when things start to blow into pieces or suddenly vanish without me actually understanding what really happened. I hate it when people don’t talk to me about whatever it is that needs to be talked about and when you ask them, they say everything’s fine but when you turn your back, ayan naa. I hate it when everyone knows your problem except you. I also hate people who don’t understand.
I should stop. I bet you’re asking what my problem is. Well, you all know what it is. Im not gonna say it.
Well its not really a problem because I know it isn’t. IT made it a problem. I know that I have been setting priorities. Sad to say, there are more things I have to prioritize rather than IT. What I didn’t understand was that I expected IT, of all ITS, to understand. Its funny rin kasi kahit si ate nagsasabi na hindi siya magandang influence sa akin kasi hindi maganda ang personality niya para sa akin. and yet, I didn’t mind that because I believed that IT will change. And ive hoped that IT will change so that I can prove that IT is not who they think IT really is.
Ive been trying, but I was only fooling myself. Ang saya. She already told me a long long time ago to stop being with IT if im growing uncomfortable of her and that I cant keep up. But I didn’t do that. Kasi nga, I still believed. Pero when I was going through rough roads, dun ko nasabi na I should stop. It was then that I concluded that I had to take a huge load on me.
Helloo. IT has to know that number one: my world doesn’t revolve around IT or any other person. Number two: IT is not the only one who gets busy and do things. And number three: I don’t like to be busy. Why the eff would IT think that im faking my business?? I mean, IT knows how many things ive involved myself in.
Dati hindi ko to ginatouch on kasi alam ko it will pass. Pero I think ayaw niya na. and what I hate most is what IT’s been doing. Alam niyo ung as if wala ka talagamg value sa kanya? Makes me wonder if the thing itself is genuine…
But at the end of the day, I won’t bother myself. Why? It’s because even though I know this is a serious matter, I got more things to worry about. I got my grades to worry about because I have a goal and I am failing miserably. I got debate, which really pressures me, but I like it.
And you know what, I should have followed her advice a long time ago. Kasi kung matagal ko nang sinimulan iyon, matagal na sana akong Masaya.



She’s right. Youre not worth it.